You say that sometimes my words hurt you
That you don’t want to hear about my past because you are my future
You don’t like it when I get drunk and snippets of truth fall out of my mouth
You say that kinda stuff I should keep to myself
But baby there are so many more words to tell
I know they’d hurt you
So I hold them inside of me like a wasp on my tongue
Letting them sting me instead
Every morning i have to walk along a main road on a narrow footpath to get to my work place. Its often windy and cars are rushing by noisly – most likely on route to their work place.
This morning i was walking along with my heavy weekend bag weighing down my shoulder, wearing black jeans, a baby pink t shirt and black silky bomber jacket – nothing special, just my regular “Dress Down Friday” attire. When i was startled by an oncoming silver car (im no good with car names, but it was silver 3 door) beeped and slowed down to pass me, i watched as a young man blew me a slow kiss then carried on driving past.
Not to sound narcissistic but similar instances happen quite often, men beeping or shouting something vulgar out of the window of their moving vehicle at me. Usually i just ignore this behaviour, sometimes shake my head in disgust. I dismiss these instances and forget about them almost immediately.
But this young man wasn’t in a works van squashed next to other males, on their way to a construction job, winding down the window to shout at me or beeping to get a reaction out of his mates.
He was alone, driving to work.. or perhaps driving home from working the night shift, he took the time out of his day to show me some appreciation – for no benefit of his own. I mean its not like he was complimenting me in hopes he would receive dirty pictures or even sex. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me and the likelihood of us ever seeing each other again is incredibly slim. He did this, purely to let me know he thinks im cute. That makes me think that he himself is cute. I was not dressed provocatively, i was simply struggling with a heavy bag, sweat dripping down the back of my neck on my commute to work.
Isnt it a beautiful thing that somebody can compliment you without using any words. Somebody can make your day without you even being able to clearly see their face.
My soul is a blazing fire
Burning high, scorching to the clouds
Your love sweet like April showers
Raining over me
Defusing the blaze
Softening the air
And quenching the grass that lays beneath
You cure me the way that medicine cures a disease
I was drowning in murky waters but you lifted me out and pulled the debris from my throat
You gave me hope that I never knew existed
My life once filled with sorrow and fear
Now the glistening reflection of faith and serenity
And for that I will forever be in debt
For you have given me
When you meet me
You dont just meet Lydia
You must be aware that deep inside me
there is somebody else
Somebody who is desperate to get out
Each day she gets closer and closer to the world
She was born in my soul
But she has clawed her way up to the tip of my tongue
Today she is trying to prize open my teeth so that she can tell everyone what she wants them to hear
After a few good days for Lydia
she will gain strength
and temporarily suffocate Lydia
She will say and do things that i would not usually do
She has fun, lets loose
Tarnishing my existing relationships and creating new ones of her own
Meanwhile, i am paralyzed..
Watching her ruin my life.
I love her nose and the way it twitches when I remove her clothes,
her lips and the way they kiss,
her hips, how they tremble when I touch them
my favourite are her legs
and the way her body begs
for me to spread them apart
How I’d love to have her..
there on the floor.
how sweet it must be
to feel all of the pain at once
and then nothing
I long for our early nights
Tucked up, no lights
Our bodies intertwined
You’re holding me from behind
You plant kisses on my cheek
And whisper things that make my knees weak
I loved you then
I love you now
More than i thought
My heart would allow